Done and well done

Sunday, February 19, 2012 at 6:40 pm (Writing by Ear)
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The topics of two of my recent posts resolved themselves (positively) yesterday.

First, and best, a big thank-you to the commenters who responded to my rant about the Funky Llama wine rebate fiasco. After using their information to contact the PA Liquor Control Board (PLCB) and the new importer for Funky Llama, I received a replacement $5 rebate check yesterday from Allied Beverage Group, L.L.C., along with a nice letter explaining that, although it was not obliged to honor the debts of the former importer, it was willing to do so anyway “as a good faith example,” including refunding people for the bank fees they incurred. Now that’s definitely worth noting and shouting about, so thank you Allied Beverage for your excellent service, and I will be sure to patronize your products in the future. Well done!

Second, my new passport arrived yesterday — less than two weeks after I applied! This was a pleasant surprise. (The website advises 4 to 6 weeks to process routine applications and 2 to 3 weeks for expedited service. I feel sorry for those who paid an extra $60 for expedited service.) The only mystifying (and annoying) thing, is this note…

Not a problem on its own, but only when you flip it over and see the same message (I presume) in Spanish…

Why would the U.S. passport office need to provide a Spanish translation? Are there that many people traveling on U.S. passports who don’t know enough English to understand the English version?

If I were to receive a Spanish passport or a Colombian passport or a Venezuelan passport or a Mexican passport, would there be an English translation included on the paperwork? What about on a French passport or German passport?

Why does the U.S. seem to resist being an English-speaking country? Even for something as uniquely American as holding a U.S. passport? I’m sure it is not PC to bring this up, but for goodness sake, really U.S. State Department? Really?

Regardless, the task is done. I can cross off “renew my passport” from the mental list it’s been on for years and, even better, chalk one up to the power of the Internet (and good people) to right wrongs when you least expect it.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.
~ Mark Twain 

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Do you hear what I hear?

Monday, February 13, 2012 at 11:50 am (Writing by Ear)
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So, last night was the Grammy Awards show — I was looking forward to seeing the performances because Mike and I had really enjoyed last year’s show and hoped for the same “wow factor” this year. Sadly, the evening was rather overshadowed by Whitney Houston’s death, which preoccupied much of the evening. (With no mention of how she had destroyed her life with drugs and alcohol — no cautionary tales or “just say no” messages, which is too bad.) But we thought some of the performances were fantastic — Bruce Springsteen, Bruno Mars, Jennifer Hudson, and especially Adele all stood out for me. We missed the last few acts, though, because The Walking Dead (could be a band name, but no, a series about a zombie apocalypse, which also sounds like it could be a band) reappeared and I didn’t want to miss the second showing of the new episode at 11:00.

This morning I surfed a bit to see what I had missed (turns out it was Nicki Minaj — who gave a bizarre and Catholic-offensive performance from what I read — and Paul McCartney singing Beatles tunes, which I’m SO sorry I missed). Anyway, what puzzled me most were the comments I read about the performances I had seen that left me wondering if we were watching the same show.

People hate Adele? Really? I guess not everyone likes a blues-y voice or non-rock music (or non-classical, non-jazz, or non-whatever-genre-she’s-not-that-they-like). And they thought her voice was obviously not recovered from her vocal chord surgery? Really? I don’t get what there was to criticize about her performance. Do they think live performances are supposed to sound exactly like the CD (even though hers, amazingly, pretty much did)? They thought Jennifer Hudson was “OK” in her Whitney tribute (“I will always love you”), but obviously holding back? Holding back? Good Lord, you mean she can sing even better than she did? No, she’s not Whitney Houston…but she did that song proud. (Although, I agreed with commenters who said it would have been better to have Dolly Parton sing it.)

You had people questioning the Beach Boys tribute…why Coldplay was there when they are “obviously” so unexciting and overrated…who’s Glen Campbell?…why can’t that lead singer of Foo Fighters even sing?…gosh, doesn’t that Bruno Mars get annoying?…and why the heck is there even a Grammy’s show to begin with? Why do those people need another narcissistic awards show so they can celebrate themselves?

For everything I liked, and everything I didn’t like, there were comments from those who felt completely the opposite.

And, that’s why I read comments.

Because it’s so easy to believe that your perception is the “only” perception and the “right” perception. That people must hear and see and think the same as you, because, well, it’s just so obvious. How could you not agree?

From politics to TV shows to movies to books (Amazon reviews) to climate change to fracking to music — we all have our own perceptions and preferences. I watch Fox because their spin on things generally agrees with mine; others watch CNN or MSNBC because they like that spin; others watch Colbert (and think it’s a news show) because they like his spin. It’s all got spin, even though, to fans, it’s simply and so obviously “the truth.”

More and more, I think the truth about anything more than indisputable facts (along the lines of “the earth revolves around the sun”) seems to be completely based on how you spin it.

But, I will say, to those of you who don’t like Adele or thought Jennifer Hudson gave a so-so performance: You’re just wrong.

There is no truth. There is only perception.
~ Gustave Flaubert

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$24.62

Wednesday, February 8, 2012 at 1:23 pm (Writing by Ear)
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Mike and I have been meaning to renew our passports for at least three years now. Because you never know when we might just need to hop on a cruise or jet off on an Italian holiday or satisfy my hankerin’ for French Roast — in France. We’re so spontaneous like that.

For the past year and a half, we’ve even had the applications filled out, sitting in a folder, along with the pictures we had gotten at Kinko’s, our old passports, and my birth certificate. My passport had long expired, so I needed to start from scratch. Mike is just under the window for getting a renewal rather than starting over, which can be done by mail rather than in person.

I found out last week that instead of going to the post office to do the paperwork, I could go to the courthouse, which was easier because, unlike the local post office, no appointment was required. So yesterday I gathered my folder and the checkbook and set off. After a bit of confusion and a wrong trip to the Deeds office (nowhere on the directory was there a listing for passports, and the guy in the Deeds office was nice enough to look it up for me and determine I needed to go down the hall to the Prothonotary), I was in the right place talking to someone who could process my application.

Started off great.

“Do you need the application?”

No, here it is, all filled out.

“Do you need a picture?”

No I have one (two in fact).

“My, you’re all prepared!”

I beamed proudly.

“Do you have your birth certificate?”

Sure! I handed it over.

“Don’t you have the long form birth certificate with your parents’ names on it?”

(Stunned) No? Do I need that? I don’t think I even have one of those!

“Yes, I can’t use this (perfectly legit, original, state-issued birth certificate).”

(In desperation) Even if I have my old passport?????

“Oh, if you have your old passport, that’s OK.”

Thank you, Jesus.

“OK, let me make a copy of your driver’s license.”

Here. No problem.

“Oh. Wait. You need to fill out this newer application instead. See, your form is dated ’05 on the bottom? There’s a 2010 one you have to use.”

So much for having a neat, typed-on-the-computer-in-the-handy-fill-in-form version.

I trudged off to fill out the new form. Which, by the way, had EXACTLY the same information on it as the form I had already filled out.

“All set? That’ll be $110 made out to U.S. Department of State.”

“Now, I’ll give you the oath. Raise your right hand.”

I swore that yes, the information on the form is correct and that’s me in the picture.

“That’s it, except for our $25 service fee.”

Hmmm, didn’t know about that. I pulled out my checkbook again.

“We don’t take checks.”

Sinking heart. Rush of sweat. There was no way in hell I had $25 in my wallet.

I checked. A ten. A five. And 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9 ones. $24.

I glance in the change compartment. Nope, no quarters. Not enough.

“Oh, I only have $24 and some change.”

They looked at me blankly. One woman said, “There’s an ATM in the lobby. They’ll charge you though.”

“I guess I have to go back to my car. I have some money in the car.”

More blank looks.

So back in the elevator I go. Down to the lobby. Four or five blocks back down the hill to my car. Yep, as I knew, I had two ones in my cupholder.

Four or five blocks back up the hill. Through the metal detector (again). Up the elevator to the fifth floor.

A ten. A five. And 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, TEN ones.

She gave me my receipt and I left.

So, a happy ending. A long-put-off task finally done. But it got me thinking. What would I have done in that situation? If I had been on the other side of the counter when I walked in, so prepared, doing everything I was asked, and coming up $1 short on the cash?

Would I have offered a dollar? Or as it turned out when I counted my change, 38 cents?

To be fair, I didn’t ask anyone to help me out. I never would do that — not in my nature.

But I like to think I would have offered the dollar anyway. Made a small gesture to help someone out (and make their day, really).

But, I can’t be sure. I hope I have the opportunity to prove it sometime when someone, a stranger, needs some change for the meter or their grocery order or something else trivial.

Because I really do think “pay it forward” should work even when you weren’t paid in the first place. Gotta start somewhere.

Lesson learned.

Each day, learn something new,
and just as important, relearn something old.
~ Robert Brault

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