Tug of war

You know the saying: The left brain doesn’t know what the right brain is doing. (yeah, yeah, hands, brains, same thing) I have a lot of that going on.

My left brain is busy focusing on a boatload of work that, of course, magically happened at the same time. There is no planning in the hack-for-hire world. There is only “We need six case studies right away and we need you to bill us for them in advance, charging us for less time than you know they will take, and we won’t pay you for 70 days. Go.”

So I’m going. Two are drafted. The third is in the works. Interview #4 happens in 30 minutes. (Interviews 5 and 6 on tap for tomorrow and Monday.)

Left brain is also all, “Hey, you need to finish that mission statement rewrite and look at that Annual Report section you’re supposed to be editing. And don’t forget you need to visit your 90-year-old mother since you haven’t been there in almost 2 weeks and yesterday she got in the car and drove herself to the store for groceries, you loser you. And you need to finish her taxes and start doing your own taxes. And when were you planning to go to the bank to deposit that check?”

Left brain is such a nag. I’d love to turn it off, but it pays the bills.

Right brain, though, is another story. That poor, hopeful, underused lobe is focused on completely unproductive drivel. And it almost never stops.

“Ooooh lookie, eBay is full of cute handmade Easter schlock. Oooooh, you NEED an immersion blender because using the other blender to make soup is too hard. Oooooh, your favorite gardening blog is recommending a cool shade plant that you can only get mail order. Oooooh, you should really practice your sun salutations before class tonight. Ooooooh, did you enter the HGTV Dream Home giveaway today? Ooooooh, how about blogging?”

It’s not that I have ADD. I have no problem focusing my A on topics that are frivolous and easy and involve spending money. The DD only comes in when it’s time to concentrate on hard, boring, stressful topics. Like now. It’s time. T-14 minutes and counting till the next interview. (Left brain is watching the clock like a hawk.)

Both of these masses of gray goo need to just. shut. up. and play nice together. If that’s not possible, is it nap time yet?

No matter where you go or what you do,
you live your entire life within the confines of your head. 
                                                          ~ Terry Josephson