Anyone there? Over, over.

Actually, I’m pretty sure no one is because I haven’t blogged in forever and I’m sort of wondering if I remember how. But I miss it; miss how writing for fun makes me feel.

Over the past year, there’s been entirely too much of the other, not-for-fun-but-for-money kind of writing going on, so my brain has been all used up with that. When I sit down at night and pop out the recliner on the couch (God forgive me, we have a sofa with double recliners — and I love it) about all I can do is browse a few websites and binge-watch Game of Thrones. Lately I haven’t even been reading other blogs.

But now we’re all caught up on GOT, we’re just starting Six Feet Under, and tonight I’ve had a mojito and read a few blogs I like. Now I’m missing my own blog. I’ve missed it all along, but life, in all its boring stressfulness, keeps getting in the way. I now believe everything they say about what (peri)menopause does to your brain (and your body) — it’s all I can do to get through a day at my desk and I have the pounds to prove I’m at my desk way too much, usually eating something.

I think back on all the things I COULD have blogged about in the last 9 months or so (including a wonderful trip to England).And too much sad stuff, as we’ve had a few deaths in my extended family. But instead of blogging, I’ve been praying, plugging away at work, and pulling the lever on the recliner — all regularly.

As I write this, I’m watching TV, drinking another mojito, talking to Mike, eating a cookie, and losing my train of thought. I’d like to say “I’m back” and up to blogging regularly, but I don’t think that’s the truth, much as I’d like it to be. I keep thinking of “someday” when I’m retired and free to do creative things like blogging and cooking and baking and crafting. I think about that way too much, and I don’t want to. Life is now, not 15+ years from now. I struggle with this. Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

On that note, that’s enough for now. I miss my blog; I’m glad it’s still here. For someday. Whether that’s tomorrow or next year.

Begin at the beginning…and go on till you come to the end; then stop.
~ Lewis Carroll, Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland

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