Socks? Really?

I know, I know. Much has been written about the use, overuse, and abuse of cell phones in public places. Who among us hasn’t been privy to long, detailed, loud, one-sided conversations that we really wish we didn’t have to hear?

This evening’s was a doozy, as I heard a woman describe every pair of women’s athletic socks in Marshall’s to someone who, unbelievably, was willing to listen (and apparently even interested) on the other end of the phone.

“Well, they have a 3-pack — 1 pair gray, 1 black, 1 white. Oh, and you know that kind we have that has the band around the top of the sock? Well they have some here where the band wraps all around the sock.

“But I have to talk fast, my phone is going to die.

“Oh, I’ve never seen these before — Puma — with a pink stripe, a blue stripe, or a yellow stripe. And, you know, she likes the thin kind. But these are a little thicker.

“Oh, look at these! These I can’t even describe. And I can’t take a picture because my phone would die. My phone is about to die.”

This went on for at least 10 minutes. And I could hear every word from four aisles away.

“They have these Nikes that are short, but doesn’t she like the higher ones? Well, here’s some Adidas…”

On and on and on.

Now, to be fair, I have been known to spend quite a long time perusing the socks myself, searching for just the right kind. But, so help me God, I’ve never subjected anyone else to my personal (obsessive) quest.

And the kicker — when she finally left the sock aisle, still talking away on the blasted cell phone that wouldn’t die…

“You know, I really hate shopping. I just shouldn’t shop.”

…there wasn’t one pair of socks in her hand. Not pink-striped or blue-striped or yellow- striped. Not gray or black or white. Not thick, thin, or banded. Not low or high.

No socks.

And none for me either. I’m off socks for a while.

Unless, unless, unless…maybe you have a handle on the perfect pair of extra-thick cushioned-sole ankle-high moisture-wicking (stripes optional) beauties for a bargain price? If so, call me!

If you reveal your secrets to the wind,
you should not blame the wind for
revealing them to the trees.
~ Kahlil Gibran

Ms. Observant…NOT

As I was walking up the driveway today after one of our regular trips to Lowe’s & Home Depot (what do other people do on the weekends?), I was so happy to notice the pretty flowers and Garth the Gargoyle in the sun…

flowers&garth

…that I walked right past this guy/gal poised on the porch steps (right next to the planter in the picture)…

visitor

I was several steps beyond the 4-ft beauty when Mike said, “Hey, look what you walked right by!”

Then I had a small heart attack.

Then I ran for the camera.

By then s/he had slithered across the driveway, heading toward neighbor Chris’s.

visitor2

Thanks to John from The Carnegie Museum of Natural History and Jason from Pennsylvania Herpetological Education and Resource Program for helping me identify this immature Eastern Rat Snake. (I almost typed Eastern Rat Snack…actually, s/he’s welcome to snack on the mole that was out feeding under the bird feeder yesterday.) “Immature” at 4 feet — geez — seems they can reach over 100 inches and are the largest snakes in PA!

While in theory I’m glad this guy/gal is comfortable in our little piece of suburbia (neighbor Chris was thrilled and sorry she missed the excitement), it does make me determined to pull my feet up under me when I sit on the porch at night.

Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite
and furthermore always carry a small snake.
~ W.C. Fields

“Can you just tell me if I’m covered now?”

Two different “customer service” reps at Highmark BC/BS really couldn’t answer that question for my husband yesterday — the latest in a months’ long saga whose ending is still to be determined.

A couple months ago, my husband’s employer got word that Highmark was dropping the “small group” health insurance plan the company had been enrolled in for several years. Mike is the only one of the company’s five employees covered, as his colleagues are covered under their spouses’ plans. Coverage would end as of May 31, and the company needed to find an alternative. Because Mike is the only one affected, his employer left it to him to research other plans and present them with some options. Mike has been a Highmark customer for years, and his medical history is clearly documented with them, so we thought this would be a relatively easy process.

How foolish we were.

We quickly learned that almost all of the available options were more expensive for less coverage than he was currently receiving. We’d likely be hit with high deductibles and copays, on top of hefty premiums. His only hope was to enroll in the same “individual HMO” I’ve been enrolled in for 10 years (which I pay for myself, being self-employed).

I learned, much to my surprise and annoyance, that if he was accepted, his monthly premium would be significantly less than mine (like $40 less) because he’s a man (even though he’s a year older and I’m way more health-conscious than he is and have been enrolled for 10 years) — so ladies, another form of discrimination rears its head (supposedly because of that nasty malady called childbirth some of us are prone to — but not me. Oh, and does that mean my premiums will go down once I hit menopause? Yeah, right.).

Unfortunately, his “pre-existing condition” (allergies) caused them to deny his application (even though they know precisely the extent of his treatment, which is in no way extensive). He even had his allergist write a letter of appeal — nada.

I’m skipping over the numerous phone calls it took to even get information on available plans and find out just when he could begin the new enrollment process and what that process would be. Literally — it took several phone calls to several people with varying degrees of knowledge. (And various forays into the Highmark Web site — exceedingly buggy and hard to navigate.) Along the way he discovered that one arm of Highmark still had his old address from 4 years ago (while other arms had our correct address).

Seems Highmark would be sending a “magic letter” two weeks before the end of May when coverage would officially be dropped. Once Mike got the magic letter, he could enroll in another program, BUT NOT BEFORE. Don’t even think about trying to enroll before the magic letter comes.

In the meantime, Mike’s employer gets an invoice for June’s premium under the old program (which is ending May 31st, mind you), which they pay.

May 31st comes and goes and no magic letter appears.

So, Mike calls Highmark for the 437th time yesterday, only to get repeated messages that customer service is down. Great, he can’t talk to anyone. After a couple hours, he finally gets through. One rep tells him: “Yes, your plan has been canceled. But no, I don’t see that any ‘magic letter’ has been sent.

(So, if you haven’t gotten the letter, are you still without coverage? And if a tree falls in the forest…)

“But my employer got a bill for June and paid it.”

“Oh, they might just get that refunded [because the plan has been cancelled].”

“Can you just tell me if I’m covered right now?” he asked in desperation.

The best answer he could get was, “Well, there is a 90-day grace period after your coverage is dropped.” Although there was also some talk they might deny any claims submitted in that time and he’d have to argue about them…

Oh, and there’s the fact there’s no coordination within Highmark — current coverage questions and new program questions require speaking to different people, who don’t have the same information and apparently don’t even see the same “screens” on current subscribers. And apparently, if a rep doesn’t know something, there’s no way to get “bumped up” to a supervisor who does know something — I’m thinking such people (those who know something) don’t even exist.

So, we’re still waitin’ for the magic letter, as nothing can happen without that. And of course, no one knows why the magic letter hasn’t been sent or when it might be. Or if it WAS sent, and we just didn’t get it. And we still haven’t worked out with Mike’s employer what we might be responsible for paying under a new, more expensive plan. So we’re waiting for that hit too.

How timely that this morning’s online WSJ had this article about health insurance. I sure don’t think nationalizing it is the way to go (God forbid, not more government involvement in our lives), but something’s gotta give. For once, I hope it’s not hard-working consumers.

Bureaucracy is a giant mechanism operated by pygmies.
~ Honore de Balzac

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