Aging? Sorry, I can’t afford to get old.

Monday, April 7, 2008 at 10:06 am (Smile Lines)
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Just as my mother was settling in for a luxurious 4-week stay at Camp Senior (a lovely but expensive assisted living facility), we received a letter in the mail from Governor Rendell urging us to “Own Your Future” and plan for long-term living by ordering a handy packet of information or checking it out online.

I’m doing both, but stopped for a bit last night to browse the Web site. It’s the National Clearinghouse for Long-Term Care Information (http://www.longtermcare.gov/LTC/Main_Site/index.aspx) and is chock-full of tidbits that will make you wish Dr. Kevorkian was your uncle. Really, the basic message I got was that I and most everyone else can’t afford to get old.

Consider the handy calculator that lets you plan how much money you’ll need to pay for long-term care. You plug in the state you plan to retire in and the monthly amount you can afford to put away now for long-term care. It spits back the cost of long-term care in your desired state, how much your monthly savings will add up to, and (in my case) your laughable shortfall. Turns out Pennsylvania was the most expensive state I checked (as I obsessively started plugging in different states to find cheaper options). Deep South seems the way to go (Georgia, Alabama, Arkansas, Mississippi, Texas) with “traditional” retirement states like Florida and Arizona more expensive. Forget about New England (which I guess PA falls into).

So, even if Mike and I put away $300 a month for the next 20 years for long-term care, we’ll only save up half of what we’ll need (roughly $350K instead of the $700K needed). (Oh, and I didn’t notice if that was per person or not!) The site also outlines other options like long-term care insurance (if you qualify) and such, including “Do you have friends or family who can help take care of you?” Hmmm, how ’bout it friends & family?

It was all quite overwhelming and extremely depressing. What a world we’ve created where we can keep people alive far longer than ever before but with no thought to how they’ll actually live.

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen. 
                                                         ~ Mark Twain
 

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Kindness IS a virtue and all

Thursday, April 3, 2008 at 6:28 pm (Writing by Ear)
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~ Be kinder than necessary.
Everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.

I got one of those sweet, friend e-mails today that makes the rounds every now and then. I liked it and forwarded it on — it ended with the sentiment above.

As I ran my Wal-Mart errands today, I tried to keep that in mind, because I really believe it’s true. You never really know what’s going on under the surface of someone, and most people don’t wear their troubles on their sleeve. So, I thought about it and chastised myself for getting all exasperated and going around an older woman walking slowly and blocking the produce aisle with her cart — I should definitely know better than that, given my mom’s situation. I thought about it when a man in a scooter made a kinda rude remark (“Cut me off! Just like a woman.” followed by a hearty “ha ha”) It was the end of an aisle — just who cut off whom is in question. But hey, he was in a scooter so obviously had trouble walking. I thought about it when a youngish glam-type woman didn’t bother to hold the door for me (twice) when I ducked into Panera afterward for a coffee. (That time I thought a little snidely that her battle must be that the world didn’t revolve around her, even though it clearly should.)

I really will try to practice this idea though, even when it’s very hard. When people are rude or plain incompetent (been dealing with a bit of the latter the last few days) or just a little clueless. I’m sure I have my days when I’m unintentionally blocking an aisle or not noticing who is behind me at a doorway. I may not be able to stop some snide thoughts when others are clearly in the wrong, but I can surely cut them a break and hope people will do the same for me.

 

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8 reasons to smile anytime

Friday, March 28, 2008 at 4:14 pm (Writing by Ear)
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Julie Andrews had her favorite things to remember to not feel so bad. Her list (courtesy of Rodgers and Hammerstein) works for me as well when the world bites, client stings, or I’m feeling sad. But I also have my own list of smile inducers that make me laugh every single time I think about them. All are things I either heard directly or others told me about, and I find many “feeling blue” occasions to think about them.

Have a read and a laugh…

Someone once told me, “Never kick a gift horse in the mouth.”
(well, of course not, how rude)

The same person thought that in one of Seinfeld’s commercials for American Express, he was saying “Release the hens!” instead of “Release the hounds!”
(oh the imagery…bockbockbockbockBOCK!)

“I don’t know who this is, but he’s Chinese.”
(Robert E. Lee)

In a memo to all staff from a corporate HR department: “If you don’t do [such-and-such] by [a certain date], you will be in the rears…”
(ouch)

“He pulled the wool right out from under his eyes.”
(again, ouch)

From a grade schooler reading aloud: “His eyes were as big as sausages.”
(and no doubt oddly shaped)

“Can you scare the little Jesus out of someone?”
(I can’t not laugh when I read that)

And my all-time favorite, never-fails-to-crack-me-up question…

“Is it nipped in the bud, or nipped in the butt?”
(Maybe it was the innocent, sincere way he asked me. Imagine it: “Well, I guess we nipped that right in the butt…” )

Are you smiling? Hope so!

Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. 
The minute it crops up, all our irritation and resentments
slip away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. 
                                                         ~ Mark Twain

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