Jonah: The winter version

Friday, February 12, 2010 at 5:52 pm (Writing by Ear, Youngest of Seven)
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These days, looking out my window feels a little like being in the mouth of the abominable snowman (before Yukon Cornelius & Hermey removed his teeth).

Mike says this will be a good test for our new roof: Did they install the ice & water shield properly? Did the shingles adhere well to it? Will the gutters hold? (He also said I should let him know if I see any water running down the walls anywhere…. I found it a little disturbing that he thought he had to tell me that.)

Winter is just so suspenseful. And sharp.

There’s one good thing about snow,
it makes your lawn look as nice as your neighbor’s.
~ Clyde Moore

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The fine line

Wednesday, February 10, 2010 at 12:46 pm (Writing by Ear)
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Today I’m tiptoeing the fine line between psyching myself up and psyching myself out. It’s a snow day — or likely would be if I didn’t work from home. I called a client with questions on a project, but had to leave a message. So here I am, with a bit of time on my hands and the weighty knowledge that today is also a NordicTrack day.

I’ve been dieting for the past few weeks and exercising regularly. Monday, Wednesday, and Friday are designated NordicTrack days. (Tuesdays and Thursdays are yoga days. I love Tuesdays and Thursdays.) My trusty NordicTrack is now almost 20 years old, and I really have used it a lot over the years, albeit off and on. So, my $400-ish investment has paid off in spades, costing only about $20 a year.

Knowing that today is an NT day, I should be psyching up. OK, I’m gonna quit wasting time, I’m gonna get out of these pajamas (don’t you judge me, I work from home and it’s snowy and cold and nobody sees me), I’m gonna throw on my workout clothes, and I’m gonna NordicTrack for 45 minutes with 25 minutes of intervals. Afterward, I’m gonna feel great. And a hot shower will be waiting.

Instead, all I can think of is psyching out. Oh crap. I have to get out of my warm fuzzy bathrobe, pull on those ridiculous c.1995 purple Lycra shorts and bra, and freeze my butt off in our dungeon of a basement, in that laundry room so full of junk I have just enough space to wedge the NordicTrack between the mountain of “for eBay” boxes, the Shop-Vac, and the toilet waiting to be installed in the powder room. Oh, and I haven’t been able to find my water bottle (actually Mike’s water bottle since I dropped mine and it cracked). And it’s FREEZING down there. And NordicTracking for 45 minutes is really hard. And what would it hurt if I just took a snow day from working out, since I never get a snow day from work? And I can go get a hot shower right now!

Fortunately, though, my psych up side has a secret weapon. It’s very motivating. Very effective. Works every time.

Sure, honey, you take a snow day. I’m sure those gray pants will fit the NEXT time you try to button them. And those jeans, too. You know, the ones you were ‘so happy’ to find because they fit perfectly? Yes, you just sit there and veg in front of the computer. You deserve it!

My chariot awaits.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself.
Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice.
~ Wayne Dyer


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What a difference a year makes

Friday, February 5, 2010 at 6:02 pm (Writing by Ear)
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Is there a big football game or something this weekend?

I might have heard a brief mention of some such event on Channel 2, in between Armageddon snow reports. Maybe something on WYEP — no, it wouldn’t have been on YEP…must have been on one of the other radio stations, you know, the ones that aren’t cool enough to ignore sports?

Seriously. Last year at this time, we in the ‘Burgh had lived, breathed, ate, slept, washed off, and immediately rerolled-around-in all things Steelers and all things Super Bowl. By now we were all so hyped up we couldn’t really speak — just look at each other, high-five, and yell WHOOOOOO! THE weekend was finally here.

Last year at this time, Mike and I were strategizing about what time we should arrive at our local hangout on Sunday to be sure to get a good seat. I had downloaded and blasted Here We Go at least 3 times a day for the last week, mixed in with a few Muppety Pa-LA-ma-lu (that’s Polamalu)‘s and “We’re from the town with that great football team….” (bum-bum-bum-BUM)s. I had tried to buy black and gold Smiley cookies at Eat’n Park, only to find that all they had left to offer was some lame Valentine hearts. My friends and I had exchanged 7,429  e-mails offering everything from “notes” to give to your boss to excuse you from work on Monday to pictures of how fans had decorated their houses/cars/bodies in black and gold to poetic tributes to Myron Cope. And we’d shared 2,728 links to 2,728 videos along the lines of this one.

(And, I should say, I got goosebumps trolling through YouTube just now…)

What a difference a year makes.

This Sunday night, I don’t expect I’ll be jumping up and down screaming at the bar. I don’t expect I’ll be hoarse for 3 days after. I don’t expect much of anything. I’m just hoping for an exciting game (I don’t really care who wins), a good half-time show (I just had to Google to find out it will be The Who performing), and some funny commercials featuring talking babies and Clydesdales.

I hope the folks in Indianapolis and New Orleans will have a lot more fun than that.

But I guarantee, it won’t be NEARLY as much fun as Stiller fans have when it’s OUR team in the spotlight. Was that only a year ago? Seems like forever.

It may be that all games are silly. But then, so are humans.
~ Robert Lynd

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