Happy hour — paperwhite style

Friday, December 19, 2008 at 9:37 am (Heavy Clay)
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I found this tip on a couple gardening blogs I follow and thought it was so neat I wanted to pass it along.

You’ve seen paperwhites (narcissus), right? Lots of people force the bulbs this time of year or buy those little kits next to the amaryllis bulb kits and poinsettias. I think they smell heavenly (though some people think they smell nauseating), but, like everyone else, I had a problem with them growing too tall and flopping over. You can tie them up, but they still tend to look messy.

Well it seems there’s a solution to this problem — an alcohol-water solution. If you start your bulbs in plain water, then dump that out when the shoots get to be a couple inches tall and replace it with a very diluted alcohol solution, your paperwhites will grow less tall without impacting their lovely blooms or scent.

Me, I like a dry and limey gin & tonic, but paperwhites apparently aren’t fussy — you can use any kind of liquor (gin, vodka, whiskey, tequila etc.) or rubbing alcohol (but not beer or wine — too much sugar).

Here’s a site that gives more details. Figuring out the exact proportion of alcohol to water to achieve a mixture that’s about 5% alcohol is a little tricky (at least it was for me) — pay attention to what it says about alcohol percentages (vs. proofs). After much times’in & gazinta’in, I’m trying a solution of 6½ cups water to ½ cup rubbing alcohol. (Remember, I’m a writer. Math is not my thing. I wouldn’t trust my formula — do the math yourself to be sure.)

Here’s how the paperwhites look today — I just dumped off the water and added the alcohol solution. I’ll keep watering with this solution as needed. Hopefully in a couple weeks I’ll be able to show you beautiful, but not floppy, paperwhites in full bloom.

paperwhiteshoots

Now, this kind of science experiment (where someone else has already done the hard work) is one I can get into. Cocktails, anyone?

I’ve taken more out of alcohol than
alcohol has taken out of me.
                                ~ Winston Churchill

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Remembering my big break

Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 1:02 pm (Hack for Hire)
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I got an unsolicited e-mail yesterday from someone I don’t know, asking for my help. This time it wasn’t a Nigerian prince needing to transfer funds. It was another local writer, fairly new to the biz, seeking to network and get a little advice. He must have gotten my name from one of the online Pittsburgh “creative” directories. His e-mail sounded sincere, and legit. I didn’t worry about checking out his site to see what he had posted (school projects, he cautioned), and hoped I could offer some words of wisdom.

I’m always ready to help a fellow writer, especially someone just starting out. My own “big break” came in one of those door closes-window opens moments. I was losing my job as an administrative assistant at a local nonprofit. I had just bought my first house a few months earlier, so now had a mortgage and home ownership to contend with. I was 26, and panic-stricken.

A coworker — older, wiser, very much a woman-about-town — knew I loved to write and suggested I contact someone she knew who was a principal in a local graphic design firm. “Use my name,” she said. At that point, I’d done a fair amount of writing on the job, including editing the organization’s newsletter, writing an employee manual, and ghost-writing for my boss, but I had very little to show in the way of a portfolio. I really had no business asking for a job as a writer at an established, successful firm.

But I did anyway. I was shocked to get an interview out of my query letter, and intimidated the second I walked in the door — an artsy, industrial space in a converted factory. I distinctly remember thinking, “I can’t work here. People who know how to draw work here.” It was the strangest interview, with all three principals gathered around a conference table asking me atypical questions (e.g., “What are you reading?” Fortunately, being unemployed, I had time to read and could actually answer. Naming a nonfiction book to boot, which I practically never read [and probably only half-read at the time]. My boss later told me my answer had impressed him. Talk about lucky.)

They took a chance on me, and I spent four great years there learning more than I ever had in my life. I left there for my next job thinking I could write anything. And then I learned a ton more at that job — in corporate marketing, so a very different environment. After several years there, I decided to take the plunge and work for myself. I’m still learning how to do that well.

So here I am. A lotta years later. Grateful. Experienced. And ready to “pay it forward” by sharing what I know with a newbie.

Except…I didn’t really like what I saw. Out of 15 or so projects (all ads), only 2 or 3  impressed me.  I didn’t see a real spark. Some good concepts, but not great execution. OK, so “student projects” explain some of that. But the writing itself was so-so. And this from someone 10 years out of college (with an English degree) and having taken a couple years of copywriting courses along the way.

I so wanted to be encouraging. But I had to fall back on the old, “If you can’t say something nice….” So I’ve said nothing.

Maybe it’s just me. Maybe I don’t get his stuff because I’m not an “ad gal,” didn’t grow up in an agency, and wouldn’t want to. It’s another world, and not one I favor.

I suppose I could try to offer some concrete advice — Here’s what I see. Here’s what I think could be better. But I don’t really think that’s what he’s looking for. He has what he has, and he wants it to lead somewhere. I don’t know of any other classes he could take to learn how to write brochures or do technical writing (another request). I can’t say, “Try calling XXXXX. They’re looking for someone.”

So, for now, the best I can think of, on the advice of another writer friend, is to recommend a basic and very helpful book on breaking into the freelance writing biz. I’ve recommended it before, but feel bad I can’t do more. I know how lucky I’ve been in my career.

My big break all those years ago made all the difference in the world. I hope someone out there has the right advice (even hard advice like, ummmm, maybe this just isn’t the career for you) to give him one, too.

Those who have succeeded at anything and
don’t mention luck are kidding themselves.
                                                   ~ Larry King

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Eight is enough

Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 12:21 am (Youngest of Seven)
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I’m a Christmas cookie baker. For many years now, I’ve made dozens of cookies to share with family and friends. This year, I made 8 different kinds over the last few days, now safely stowed in the freezer to be doled out liberally over the next couple weeks.

But I was itching to try just one more. A new recipe called “Hungarian Pinwheel Cookies Featuring Poppy Seed Filling.” It was the poppy seeds that got me. You see, my dad was a wonderful baker. Mostly breads, except for one phenomenal exception: poppy seed roll. Every year, on special holidays like Christmas and Thanksgiving, we were treated to this amazing concoction. I can still see it, on the cabinet in the kitchen, on a cookie sheet, under a towel. I can still taste it, moist, sweet, unique. My mouth waters just thinking about it.

But none of us ever learned how to make it, and I’ve never found his recipe, except for the dough (I think). But not for that incredible filling. So when I saw this cookie recipe, I just had to try it. It had simple step-by-step instructions, and even pictures along the way, including this one of the finished product.

poppyseeddone1

Mmmmm. Don’t they look good?

Yup, too good to be true.

I should have known I was doomed when I couldn’t find Baker’s poppy seed filling. I’m pretty sure this is what my dad used, although I think he doctored it up pretty good (maybe adding raisins?). But Wal-Mart had none, and Giant Eagle had every other kind of Baker’s filling imaginable — except this one. Just the telltale label on an empty section of shelf.

I remembered the store had baking items in other places, especially at the holidays. After spending a good 15 minutes searching, I managed to find some near the bakery. Looked kinda funny. In fact, when Mike saw it on the counter at home, he said, “What the heck is that?” despite the clearly labeled (and clear) package.

2008_1216holiday080023

I won’t tell you what he said it looked like, but it wasn’t flattering.

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I tasted a bit and thought, “UGH.” It was nothing like I expected. But how bad could it be? Nothing ventured…

So I dug in, following the directions to make a “soft dough,” rolling out the sticky mess between wax paper, and refrigerating it “until firm.” I couldn’t fit it in the freezer, which the recipe advised I may want to do if the dough was too soft. (Yeah, turns out I should have found a way to freeze it like a rock.)

I’m not much of a dough chiller. After 40 minutes, it was past 10:00 o’clock and I was ready to be done with the darn cookies. So I went at it anyway, spreading the disgusting poppy seed mess over the dough and attempting to roll it all up in a neat tube — just like the picture showed. The key, the recipe urged, was to roll tightly. Success, it cautioned, depended on how tightly you rolled up the dough along with its filling.

I failed miserably. The dough stuck to the waxed paper, the poppy seed filling bled through, and I ended up with not the lovely pinwheels in the picture, but these blobby messes.

2008_1216holiday080022

Well, I’m not Martha (obviously). So at least if they tasted good, I could live with them.

But no such luck. Trust me, they don’t taste any better than they look.

So, Mike finally has his answer to “When can I eat cookies?” (Now dear, choke down as many of these as you like.), and I still have 8 kinds of lovely, edible cookies to share. Eight is definitely enough. Don’t worry family and friends, you won’t be getting these!

But, alas, my craving remains. I looked a bit longingly at the poppy seed roll at the bakery at Giant Eagle. But I’ve had it before — a poor substitute, even at $7.99.

So if there was ever any doubt, I now know for sure what I’d ask for “If I could have anything I wanted for Christmas…” — Dad’s poppy seed roll, and him here to bake it.

Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes.
                                                                          ~ Gloria Naylor

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