Dirty secrets

I call the gardening category on my blog “Heavy Clay.” A nod of respect to the arch-enemy of every garden I’ve ever tried to dig. My nemesis. My foe. My Penguin, Riddler, and Joker all rolled up into one massive clump. Heavy clay, I’m sure, is what keeps me from having one of those magazine-worthy gardens. Most of all, it keeps me humble. Very humble.

The area around our garage would be the heavy clay burial ground, if heavy clay had a special place to go and die like the elephants in Tarzan movies. It looks innocent enough on the surface (mulch makes any dirt look good). In fact, it’s home to some of the nicest shrubs we inherited when we bought the place — a couple azalea, a rhodie, and even a beautiful mountain laurel. I’ve featured them before…

I’ve also planted many perennials in front of them in the last few years. Coral bells, spiderwort, astilbe, lamium. Things would do OK the first year, but then limp along or give up completely after that. I don’t think one of the plants in the foreground of the middle picture above is still living (even after I moved them out of the dead zone).

I’ve always known the deaths have been the work of my nemesis (my foe, my Penguin, Riddler, and Joker all rolled up in one massive clump). Over the years, every time I’ve stuck my shovel in the ground anywhere along the garage, I’ve thrown away the chunks of clay it unearthed and replaced it with real dirt.

Clearly, it hasn’t been enough.

Yesterday, after seeing my latest attempts — lady’s mantle, coreopsis, and some remaining astilbes — struggling, I got more serious about de-claying.

It wasn’t pretty. It was sweaty. It was back-breaking. And we needed to find a place to dump the evidence. On a lot as small as ours, that’s not easy to do.

Given that someone purchased the wreck next door, what used to be a convenient dumping ground is no more. So “behind the holly trees” — our 3-foot swath of destruction — was pressed into service again. Right next to the mound of cut stone we plan to use somewhere, someday, and the rickety bench we pulled off the deck before we resurfaced it last year and can’t burn because it’s made of outdoor lumber.

It doesn’t look like much effort went into it, but I couldn’t even manage the wheelbarrow loads of clay myself; Mike had to do it. This pile is, I dunno, 8 loads or more? Incredibly heavy stuff.

The upside is that the compost pile we started in the far corner yielded enough “good dirt” to replace the garbage I dug out. The caps and t-shirts are right: Compost really does happen.

So, with several loads of bad stuff out, and several loads of good stuff in, I can only hope these poor plants will finally flourish.

Well, maybe not flourish — I’m not a gardener who seems able to make things flourish. But at least maybe they’ll breathe a little easier. Surely easier than me — today, every breath is a little painful. But also a little sweet. Another small step in my years-long vendetta against heavy clay.

When you have done your best for a flower, and it fails,
you have some reason to be aggrieved.
~ Frank Swinnerton

A minor miracle

Rare, but so appropriate for this day of magnificent miracles.

Our gorgeous blooming magnolia. Unfrozen despite recent chilly nights.

Happy Easter!

Twas Easter-Sunday. The full-blossomed trees
Filled all the air with fragrance and with joy.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The number doesn’t matter

So the countless health & fitness articles I’ve read would have you believe. It matters NOT what the number on the scale is; all that matters is how you feel and whether you are healthy and fit (or rather, whether your clothes fit).

I’ve bought into this for many years. In fact, I’ve never purchased a scale before. Before yesterday, that is.

It was mostly curiosity. I’ve been on a diet and exercise jag for a couple months now, and I know it’s been working somewhat. Some of my clothes that didn’t fit anymore do. And I’m able to do longer and harder workouts than before I started. But still, I’ve been wondering just how much that scary number I saw on the scale at the doctor’s in January has changed.

Plus I just read this short article in Prevention that advocates weighing yourself daily.

So I bought the scale and did the weigh-in. I’m still not sure it’s a good idea. For one thing, I don’t really trust the number — every scale is different. And of course, I weighed myself at the point in the day I was likely to weigh the least, without a stitch on, and I think I let all the air out of my lungs first, too.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t unhappy with the number that came up. But it certainly wasn’t the “magic number” goal weight I’ve had in my head all along. Far from it.  And if the number is true, why don’t those gray pants fit well enough for me to want to wear them? Why don’t I feel a lot thinner? Why is no one saying, “Hey, have you lost weight?” Why, when I was trying on clothes to wear to a reception last week, was it so hard to find something that looked OK? Why didn’t that outfit I had on just a few months ago fit yet?

So, now I’m not sure if I’m happy about the number, discouraged by it, or just meh.

I think meh. Turns out, the number doesn’t really matter after all. I care more about how I feel, how I look, and how my clothes fit.

But now, of course, I’ll keep the scale. Stepping on it will be a little like spinning the wheel at the carnival to see if the magic number comes up. (Except the scale is digital and doesn’t spin.)

No one will be more surprised than me if it ever does. And no one will be less surprised than me if it comes up and those darn gray pants still don’t fit. I’ve never been good with numbers.

In the Middle Ages, they had guillotines, stretch racks,
whips, and chains. Nowadays, we have a much more effective
torture device called the bathroom scale.
~ Stephen Phillips

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