What did they just say?

I am so appalled by the commercial I just saw I had to rant. I’m busy with my cleaning chores and have HGTV on in the background — an eco show about how to make every room in your house eco-friendly (when they make it wallet-friendly I’ll consider it more seriously).

Suddenly, I hear a commercial I don’t understand. It’s in Spanish. Entirely in Spanish. No subtitles. Clearly intended only for people who speak Spanish watching HGTV. And clearly not for me or any other American who doesn’t. Hell, they could have been saying, “Go out and kill your neighbor” and I would have been none the wiser.

Did I cross the border? Did they suddenly change the language without telling me? Am I in that parallel universe you hear tell about?

The commercial was from boostup.org — I don’t have anything against them (apparently they have something to do with encouraging teens to graduate) — just their commercial, and maybe its premise. If a high school-age teen can’t speak English well enough to understand a commercial, what are they doing in high school in the U.S.? And, ummm, if that’s the case, maybe they shouldn’t graduate?

How long will it be before “Press 1 for English” will also apply to my television?

                   CASSIUS     Did Cicero say any thing
                   CASCA       Ay, he spoke Greek.
                   CASSIUS     To what effect?
                   CASCA       Nay, an I tell you that, Ill ne’er look you
                                    i’ the face again: but those that
                                    understood him smiled at one another
                                    and shook their heads; but, for mine 
                                    own part, it was Greek to me.
                                                     ~ William Shakespeare,
Julius Caesar

 

Where IS that Swiffer…?

We are excited to be seeing dear friends we haven’t seen in nearly 2 years, since they first moved to Alabama. They’re passing through next week between visits to parents in Michigan and Central PA, and taking time to see a Pirates game with us and spend the night.

Of course we’re excited. These are special friends. We love them to pieces. But five people (mom, dad, 3 kids) at our house? Overnight? They’ll see how we really live.

Sure we have a guest room — until 2 days ago when a frantic clean-up ensued, the bed was covered in clothes, the floor was covered in bags of clothes to be donated (bagged up months ago and never dropped off because, you see, maybe we’ll find more to donate) as well as being a dumping ground for stuff we will need eventually for house projects, but not yet. Things like crown molding for the upstairs hall, doorknobs for the new cubby doors we had built for the third floor, a ceiling fan to be installed, and several unfinished custom picture frames that still need paint, glass, mattes, and pictures inserted. Now at least, the clutter has been redistributed (and the ceiling fan installed!). Unfortunately, the room itself hasn’t bubbled up on the to-do list and still sports the previous owners’ girly pink and green color scheme complete with hideous mauve carpet. (We can clean, but we can’t work miracles.)

Sure we have a finished attic — a great space for spillover guests, complete with a queen-size futon! Unfortunately, there’s barely space to walk up there. It’s a holding ground for still-unpacked boxes (3 years after moving), piles of collectibles awaiting sale on eBay, cast-off office equipment (because you can’t just throw it away — bad for the environment doncha know), the previously mentioned cubby doors (4 of them; bulky), and assorted “no other place to put it” items. (The good part: It’s in the midst of a massive clean-up effort. The kids might even be able to see the floor when we’re done!)

I know, I know. People understand. They just want to see you and spend time. Who cares about clutter, dust, dirt, grime? So what that the floor of the lovely new kitchen is all aflutter with cat hair bunnies (and plain old dirt). Isn’t it cute that you can write your name on the dining room table? And those 25 magazines and catalogs all over the coffee table — how interesting.

It’s all true, but it’s all lies. People may not care, but they do notice. And I for one, would rather be noticed for how nice the house looks, not how sloppy. 

Oh, don’t pretend you’re any different. Tell me YOU don’t run around like crazy cleaning when someone’s coming over. Tell me YOU don’t want your house to look like grown-ups live there instead of a pack of frat boys. Tell me YOU haven’t been influenced by Martha, Emily, Heloise, Miss Manners, HGTV, BH&G to feel your home has to be “gracious” and “perfect for entertaining.”

You don’t? You haven’t? Darn.

You must be one of those people. Everything always in the right place (preferably a place neatly labeled with a label maker), floors swept every night and with a good hands-n-knees scrubbing every week, no dust on the window sills or soap scum in the shower… 

Oh well, my house gets there eventually. All it takes is a little push from an impending visit and days of back-breaking effort. The place’ll sparkle. I may fall asleep at 8:30 the night they come, but the place’ll sparkle. And (sadly?), that’ll make me really happy. I love a clean house. And it may never get that way if it weren’t for visits from dear friends. So come see us soon, OK?

You sometimes see a woman who would have made a Joan of Arc
in another century and climate, threshing herself to pieces
over all the mean worry of housekeeping. 
                                                    ~ Rudyard Kipling

Let’s hear it for the dads

Because we don’t have kids, Mike and I most often socialize with other nonparents, or with folks whose kids have grown. But yesterday I had the chance to see how the other half lives, hanging out at a party with people not too much younger than we are who happen to be the parents of young children.

What struck me most was how involved the dads are with their kids. All the fathers there were actively interacting with, coaching, playing with, disciplining, feeding, and otherwise “parenting” their child and watching out for all the kids there.

Contrast that to my own experiences with my dad growing up and a lifetime of observing dads older than yesterday’s group. The dads I grew up with were never that involved; child-rearing was pretty much the moms’ job. Dads were there to say, “Go ask your mother,” yell at you when you got out of line, and scare the bejesus out of you, so you didn’t get out of line. Harsh? Maybe, but that was pretty much how it was.

That’s not to say that if I talked to all the moms at yesterday’s party, they would agree their spouses are 50-50 on the childcare/parenting front. But to this casual observer, it was pretty darn impressive. And so nice to see.

I can’t say I observe similar parenting out in public day-to-day (from moms or dads). I’m sure a lot of what I saw yesterday had to do with the group I was with — clearly stellar individuals. But it made an impression on me.

Way to go dads! (And way to go moms…was he this way when you found him?) 

Fatherhood is pretending the present
you love most is soap-on-a-rope. 
                                   ~ Bill Cosby

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