OK ladies (gentlemen, close your eyes) — when’s the last time you read your tampon box?
Not lately? Me either. That’s why I found it so amusing to find this message on the inside of the flap:
ENVIRONMENTAL TIP # 6
Unplug electronics when you’re not using them
et en Francais pour les Canadiens
CONSEIL ENVIRONNEMENTAL Nº 6
Débranchez les apparells électroniques après avoir fini de les utiliser
As a marketer, I always try to imagine the meeting that led to something like this appearing on the box. I’ve worked on a few packaging projects over the years (including one for tampons’ cousin, “the pad”) and I can assure you that EVERY element on the box is scrutinized. What it is, where it’s placed, the font, the font size, the color– you name it. So, I imagine it was either (a) quite an excruciating decision to place a non sequitur like this on the box or (b) decided in 18 seconds…”We need an environmental message? Let’s make it a tip. A whole numbered series of tips. Inside flap.” Boom. Done.
Now, to be fair, as I explored the box further, I found that the idea of touting tampons as environmentally friendly is begun on the outside of the box — “Look inside for ways you can protect the environment or visit [a cutely named website].” I visited the website and it truly is cute (in an environmentally thoughtful way).
So clearly, this decision was of the excruciating variety. And, as a whole, perhaps the whole environmental message makes sense from a “less waste” perspective. But the out-of-the-blue message about turning off electronics just made me laugh. I kept trying to think of a possible connection… “Oh, time to go ‘freshen up…’ better unplug…my computer.”
Why not a tip about remembering to turn off the heating pad you’ve been clutching to your cramp-ridden abdomen for 2 hours while in a fetal position?
Or one about not throwing a plate of spaghetti at that insensitive jerk’s your husband’s head in a PMS-induced fury because that would be wasteful?
Recycling the wrappers from all that chocolate you’re eating?
That led me to think about what other types of unrelated tips might have a home on the tampon box…
Cooking? “Use lemon juice to brighten the flavor of vegetables.”
Car maintenance? “Change the oil every 3,000 miles; rotate tires every 6,000 miles.”
Closet organization? “Haven’t worn it in a year? Donate it.”
Parenting? “Keep children on a consistent schedule for meals and bedtimes.”
But no….the environment is hot (no pun intended)…so that’s the message we’re getting on the tampon box this week.
Next week? I’m hoping for something like…“No new taxes!”
As advertising blather becomes the nation’s
normal idiom, language becomes printed noise.
~ George Will
Writing by Ear 