As most everyone who reads this blog knows, I’m a self-employed marketing writer in real life. To “network” a bit, I participate in some of the social media sites on a professional basis — namely LinkedIn and Twitter. LinkedIn has various groups you can choose to join (for example, groups for other writers and editors like me) and on Twitter you can “follow” people who share your interests or who are interesting to you. I follow a smattering of other writer/editors and writing-related groups.
With LinkedIn groups, people often post questions seeking answers or advice. Sometimes this yields helpful information — I’ve learned a thing or two this way. But more often, it yields a bunch of responses designed to make the responder look (or perhaps feel) smart and make the asker look (or perhaps feel) dumb. I dropped out of one group after I posted a question about a situation where a client disappeared without paying me and the responses I got were along the lines of…”It’s your fault for not getting a signed contract, you stupid fool.”
After 20 years in this business, I didn’t need that — I’ll say it — shit from my “peers.” Although some people were nice enough to say that even if you have a contract, that’s not always a guarantee of payment. And a few others related similar situations.
I think my mistake was expecting mostly sympathy/empathy along with advice; instead I got mostly criticism. Nice.
Similar situation on Twitter — responding to other writer/editor tweets about some point of grammar or related topic seems to yield responses along the lines of, “Well you can think that if you want, but I think using the verb “incent” is something only a really bad writer who obviously isn’t very smart would do.” (For the record, “incent” is in the dictionary, which I pointed out, and yes, I use it. And yes, I’m further annoyed that spell-check is red-lining it as I type.)
Now, perhaps this tendency toward snarkiness is due to the relative anonymity of the web. When I call, e-mail, or meet with my circle of writing colleagues directly, I get nothing but support and good advice, without a hint of “Gosh you’re an idiot.”
Maybe they think it, but they don’t express it.
That is what I consider “professional courtesy.” And I find it sorely lacking in “professional” social media situations. Or maybe that’s just me being out of touch and incompetent again.
Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy.
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Writing by Ear 
mel said,
Wednesday, May 25, 2011 at 11:06 pm
Welcome to the future of communications. I keep shunning the latest, greatest forms of keeping in the loop, because frankly they all make it too simple for people to turn off the filter that we should use when speaking or writing to anyone. Even emails can bring out the worst in an exchange, so I can’t imagine what texting and social networks elicit. I tried Facebook for a very short while but when I started being “friended” by strangers and when i really looked at the self-serving comments people left on walls, I didn’t want any part of it. I am afraid that even professional social sites are leaning in that direction. It’s a shame… and yet more proof that what we do (or I used to do) is becoming more and more rare and nice-to-have. Real, proper, polite communication is so passé.
Just keep doing good work and let your lack of participation in those circles speak for you. Shame on them.