I have met the enemy, and he is…thus

Friday, May 7, 2010 at 1:23 pm (Smile Lines)
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If you know the enemy and know yourself,
you need not fear the results of a hundred battles.
~ Sun Tzu

Say hello to the nice readers, Sweetie. Yes, you’re dashing in white, but you know I can’t resist you in black. Four times in the last two weeks, is it? They only leave me wanting more. I cried when you left last year. Twice. Once from missing you and once from relief it was finally over. But you came back. You always come back. And you’re staying a while. Tauntingly close. A 60-second ride away…waiting. Audacious too. Out there for the world to see, thumbing your nose at the neighbors. A fruit market? Zucchini? Summer squash? Grapes? Watermelon? As if. Batting cages? No contest. You’re everyone’s next stop. A beer distributor? A worthy foe, but you know you’ll win. You always win.

And you, Salty. So many years at this, you and I. You never leave for long. But you never stay long either. You go, and I crave you. You come back, and you’re gone too soon. I hate you. (I love you.) Go away. (Don’t leave me.) You’re mine. Always.

Oh yes, Mr. Tzu, I know my enemies. All too well. I also know myself. All too well. Hence my dilemma.

What about you, my friends? Have you vanquished your enemies? Tell me how.  I’m all ears (or rather, thighs).

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So, it’s like, ya know, and stuff like that, right?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010 at 2:11 pm (Hack for Hire, Writing by Ear)
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“I know, right!?”

Two different characters in Castle last night used that phrase within 30 seconds of each other. It confirmed what I’ve been hearing for the past month or so, and what I started writing about in this post a couple days ago and then got distracted. “Something-something-something….right?” has become the latest conversational catchphrase.

Like when someone’s explaining a concept…“So, you have these two banks, right, and they’re competing for your business, right, so you….”

Or someone’s describing their trip to Vegas…“You’re in the middle of the desert, right, yet there’s these incredible fountains everywhere…”

Or someone (me for instance) is apologizing to the guy parked next to them at Sam’s Club for showing up just as he’s trying to load his purchases…“Oh, sorry. It figures, right?”

I’m as much of a bandwagon jumper as anyone, especially when it comes to lazy speech and “things to say to sound trendy and not ancient.” Or “blogging tricks to be funny cool.” It’s a lot like the lazy writing and jargon that too easily creep into the marketing writing I do. That said, I wonder how these things get started.

The whole “like” thing…So, like, we were walking down the street. And, like, this crazy guy came up to us and…

Or the “ya know” thing…Well, ya know, I haven’t been jogging long, so, ya know, I’m not that good at it…

Or the woman I used to know who ended every ended every sentence with “…and stuff like that.” I’m taking off work on Friday so I can clean and work outside and stuff like that.”

The whole “right” thing is still pretty new, so it doesn’t sound annoying…yet. Those characters in Castle last night actually sounded fresh and with it. Just as the person at dinner last month did when I first noticed the trend. It really drew me into the conversation — acknowledging what he said and nodding that I understood (right).

Try it. Don’t you sound like you have a riveting story to tell? Or that you can so relate to what the other person’s telling you (I know, right!?).

Listen for it for the next few days…I bet you’ll be hearing it everywhere, right?

Man is a creature who lives not upon
bread alone, but primarily by catchwords.
~ Robert Louis Stevenson


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