To redo, not undo

I’ve had the same Day-Timer planner for more than 20 years — a gift from my brother that has to be the most-useful/used gift I’ve ever received. When I started the job that launched my writing career, most everyone in the company was using a similar planner, and I found out after I was hired that the fact I brought mine to the interview was something they noticed.

On my to-do list for years now (literally) has been to redo the address pages in the back of the planner. Written in pencil (but rarely erased) are 20+ years of people, phone numbers, addresses, passwords, URLs, security codes, login instructions…anything I deemed important to remember and have quick access to.

Of course, it’s hopelessly outdated, and I bought a new set of pages years ago, meaning to redo them. That task has been on my to-do list ever since. When a friend gifted me at Christmas with a nifty desktop chalkboard, it was the first thing I thought to write on it.

I think it’s finally time to tackle the project. But as I start with the As, it’s not so easy. It feels like erasing a scrapbook. The number for the old cable company makes me remember launching my business and my first attempts at getting online. My dad’s doctor’s number make me think of my dad. The address of a friend/colleague I haven’t seen in years but still exchange Christmas cards with — I have the address in my Outlook address book — do I need it here too? Another old friend/colleague I don’t correspond with at all. Should I erase him completely (I have his e-mail)? And the Bs…here’s the number of my old next door neighbors — lovely people, but haven’t seen them in years. Oh…the painter who worked on the first house we built. And the loan number for the car I got rid of years ago.

As I page through, nearly every entry triggers some memory…some easy to let go, some I’m not so sure. Does it hurt to keep my ex’s sisters’ info? The cleaning lady we used for a brief time? The fact that mileage was 32.5 cents/mile in 1998? (It’s now 51 cents/mile in 2011.) Or the nursery on Rt. 8 I used to love to visit that might not even be there anymore? A tile installer someone recommended but I never used? Oh look, I had a tetanus shot on 10/27/04…I’ll need another in 2014.

I’m already afraid that even when I do redo the pages, I’ll feel the need to squirrel these away somewhere too. So much for decluttering and fresh starts.

But I’m not a scrapbooker. Not good with photo albums or collages. I tried to make a wedding scrapbook and lost interest after the first page (that’s another project living in a plastic bin, taking up space). More and more, as I try to recall a name, fact, tidbit, my once-agile memory fails me.

Something tells me I’ll need these pages one day, not to call an old colleague or business, but simply to recall they existed at all.

It’s appropriate, now that I think about it. I’m a word person, not a picture person. I need these words to trigger the images. I’d be foolish to throw them away.

At least that’s what I’m telling myself today.

So, yes, I’ll tackle the to-do…finally. The fresh pages won’t include the name of the tax collector for the borough I lived in 8 years ago, or the phone number of the people who bought one of my previous houses and later moved back to Arizona. I’ll redo everything neatly and make room for what’s to come. But I won’t completely undo what’s gone before — those old pages have a lot of life in them.

To look backward for a while is to refresh the eye, to restore it,
and to render it the more fit for its prime function of looking forward.
~Margaret Fairless Barber

Button, button, who’s got the…

As I was getting ready the other morning, I noticed a loose thread on the button of my blouse. I pulled it, and just as I realized the button was unraveling completely, it fell off into the sink and down the drain. Bye-bye button.

Sigh.

As it was the critical “bra-hiding” button, I had to do something and didn’t feel like changing. Time to dive into that stash of button packets I’d been saving. You know, the kind that come attached to new clothes? After some thought, I remembered where I had squirreled them away: in the small chest of drawers in the vestibule, along with more candles than I’ll likely burn in my lifetime, and a dozen or so extension cords and extra-plug thingees (really useful at Christmas!).

All I needed was a simple white button with 4 holes. What I found was a tinful of memories.

Oh, that beautiful gray sweater. A gift from my best friend from high school. I wore it to death. Loved it; loved her. (Thanks, Annie.)


And that green silk two-piece dress — so pretty. Gave up trying to fit into it and gave it away some years ago.


That navy blue button-down sweater with the crest and the fancy buttons — I wore that a lot! Very nautical.

Of course, for every button or bit of thread I could identify, there were a half-dozen I couldn’t. And after all that, I still didn’t find a perfect match for my simple white button. So an ivory one (from something 100% silk according to the tag) had to do. I’m sure no one will ever notice.

But if I ever find myself needing crochet hooks or the hard contact lenses that were my high school graduation gift that I only wore briefly Freshman year before getting a weird eye infection and giving them up — I now know where to go.

Clearly, I have a thing for buttons. I remember playing endlessly with the buttons my mother collected in a few jelly jars. She told me “they” (she, my grandmother, my aunts) used to cut the buttons off clothes before discarding them. Since I can’t imagine them ever throwing anything away, the clothes must have been threadbare and beyond salvage. It was these same jars of buttons I berated my brother for throwing away a couple years ago when we were cleaning out the “junk room” at my mother’s…the same jars I dug through piles of trash waiting on her porch for garbage day to rescue. Sure, I was afraid she might miss them — we never know what odd thing she’ll pick to fixate on — but part of me also wanted to “inherit” them someday. (Those same jars are still sitting in yet another junk room at my mother’s…it’s a sickness, no, this hoarding gene I fight and win, most times.)

I also snagged a large Necco Wafer jar of buttons my mother-in-law had slated for donation when she and my father-in-law downsized and moved a few years ago. That (no doubt highly collectible) jar is living between the armoire and radiator in the living room.

I did, however, sort through them and put aside some favorites for some still-undetermined future project — those buttons are living in the armoire. :-)

Seriously, though, clever people do such cute and creative things with buttons — embellishing sweet little pillows…dressing up lampshades…decorating picture frames. Someday I’ll do that too. Really.

In the meantime, if you feel like passing along any buttons you are physically able to live without, I’ll have a jar ready and waiting. And if you should need a button, you know who’s got it.

Memory is a crazy woman that hoards colored rags and throws away food.
~ Austin O’Malley

‘Tis* almost the season

With Black Friday fast approaching (what an awful name), I can hear everyone’s thoughts turning to Christmas shopping once the leftovers are put away. Or maybe it’s their stomachs turning — it’s a shame that buying presents has become such a dreaded chore for so many people. How about if I concentrate on what I hope is still fun: toy buying.

Who doesn’t have a favorite toy? Who doesn’t remember their BEST CHRISTMAS EVER and why it was? Maybe I’m way off base here, but I have to believe Christmas meant even more to us than it does to today’s kids. After all, “back in the day” (this is the modern version of ”when I was a kid”), we got presents twice a year: our birthday and Christmas. There was no getting something on every trip to the store or being presented with your own “treat bag” on some other kid’s or sibling’s birthday. You had your 2 days in the sun and that was it. (Oh yeah, and candy at Easter and Halloween. But not presents — and certainly not anything lame like toothbrushes — just candy.)

Of course, my brothers were good at supplementing. “Junk Day” was like the third best holiday. My brothers were paperboys, so were out there at the crack of dawn to get first dibs on whatever treasures other people were throwing away. I personally got my first baton that way (and what little girl doesn’t want a baton?), an Easy-Bake Oven (kinda lame, no mixes), and a cool little light-table that you could trace on (perfect for paperdoll clothes). Oh they hauled home tons more, like one of those tabletop foosball-like hockey games and a bunch of other stuff I can’t remember (but they will).  

My parents were pretty good at coming through with the toys when it counted, though. A lot of them were hand-me-downs by the time I came along, but we really had some memorable ones.

scm sized  My brother got one of these super-cool Strange Change Machines that transformed colorful little plastic squares into dinosaurs when you heated them up. And you could smash them back into little squares again — over and over. Loved it!

getaway chase  Another favorite: the Getaway Chase Game – Bonnie & Clyde-type car racing. (See those kids on the box — my brother and me.)

green ghost Or Green Ghost …the ultimate cool glow-in-the dark game (come to think of it, this may have been a Junk Day find).

baby drowsy  Or the love of my life: Baby Drowsy. I can still remember all 11 of her sayings when you pulled the string (well 9 sayings, a giggle, and a cry). Some 15 years later, my youngest niece got a Baby Drowsy of her own (which she promptly used to torment her older sister, earning Drowsy a new name: “the haunted baby”).

What about KerPlunk! or Battleship or Little Kiddle dolls (the tiny ones that came in jewelry), or Spirograph? I always wanted a Lite-Brite, never got one, but was brought to tears by how excited my oldest niece was when she got hers: “(rip rip) A LITE-BRITE, A LITE-BRITE!”

I know you have your own fondest Christmas toy memories. Why not relive the joy and buy a little kid a toy this year? (And no, not some $100 computer game or massive Barbie McMansion — a TOY!) Although . . . (POP — sound of bubble bursting) it occurs to me, with all the lead scares, even that simple pleasure is tainted now.

OK, new plan. We go Little House on the Prairie this year and everyone gets some nuts, a peppermint stick, and one perfect orange — organic of course. Yeah right. Better yet, go vintage on eBay. I can hear Baby Drowsy now…”I go sleep now, night-night. Close your eyes mommy. I want another drink of water. I wanna stay up…”

There is nothing sadder in this world than to awake
Christmas morning and not be a child.
                                                ~ Erma Bombeck

*P.S. See how that apostrophe in ‘Tis is pointing the wrong way? (It should look like a 9 not a 6.) It drives me crazy, as it will any typographically picky reader, but I lack the HTML skills to fix it. If anyone knows how, I’d be grateful…

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